Today you’re offline. You’re never offline. I sent you an email, i replied to your text post. You’re just ignoring me. It feels so horrible. I don’t think I’ve felt this alone in a long time. Lonely, unwanted and alone. I can’t breathe, my throat is closed. Outside is so gloomy and it’s really not helping. This is horrible. My worst fear, materialized.
That you won’t want anything else to do with me. That you won’t want to even talk to me. And it’s not one thing I did. we were both pretty weird yesterday, and you even said that it must be because you’re close to your period.
The not talking and not even being online really feels like you’re giving up. On me, on us. I know you have work, but I have work too. I’m here and I can’t stop thinking about you. That’s all I want. To talk to you and try and make you smile. But you want nothing to do with me, and it hurts. I’d really like the chance to fix whatever it is that I did.
I feel like we’re literally thousands of miles away, not just physically. It never felt that way. Not ever since we started talking and getting closer, since you became my whole world.